Semi hypothetical question. Do you think its physically possible to bruise your clit?
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
He took the Gold in Olympic clit licking last night. Canada should be proud.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
I don't even remember what he looks like. All I know is he's 6 foot 100. I like that.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
also I saw his dick in the morning light and it was glorious. Like staring upon your birthday cake you ordered from heaven and going " can't wait to eat that later"
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I have unfollowed so many people the only things showing up in my newsfeed are dog rescues and sloth memes
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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