it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
Replacing day drinking with a real job was the worst decision I've ever made.
She's the barista slut.
This is a rough morning for me
No, rough is puking in your froyo cup next to a five year old and her grandma.
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Did you just tell me you watch cartoon porn because it's more real?
Also, don't forget your plan to die young at a shrooms-fueled orgy.
I wish so many great beards were not attached to even greater jerks. All that face sitting potential wasted. Some of the greatest tragedies of this century.
Randomize
