you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
using the left over highlighters from the blacklight party to study for finals. feeling the need to write insert penis here on my econ notes.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
she might purposely get aids just to give it to you. I think she might hate you that much.
I just want uncharted vagina. Fresh and ripe.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I told the cop to try walking in heels and he'd understand why I was walking home without then on. He told me he only does that on Wednesdays.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Is there a classy way to tell him that to thank him for his service I would like to put his dick in my mouth?
"Happy Veterans Day! Now pull down your pants."
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
Am I required to send a Christmas card to my fuck buddy?
Randomize
