I called the bartender Mr. Intoxication last night. He thought it was funny until i threw up and blamed it on him
Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
NEWSFLASH - my freind is drunk and admitted that he hates having sex with dogs. should i help him or let him be??
He also left me a wonderful voice mail..... and is now asking me where the planters peanut guy is.
You should probably go find him.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
a small fire erupted but we put it out with a can of beer so everything's fine
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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