Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
Her brother was practicing the clarinet....it was like having sex in a starbucks
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
if by "adventure" you actually mean "getting ridiculously high and shaving our legs," then yes.
The good news is that I can 100% reassure you that you did not get knocked up by some creepy Italian dude named Sal Manella last night.
The bad news is that you will never know the name of the guy who may have gotten you pregnant last night because he clearly gave you a fake name, sweetie.
Let's learn from last year: Leave the handcuffs at home on St Patrick's Day.
If a baby can come out of it, so can four raquetballs.
Do you remember when I didn't post that pic of you fucking an avocado on your boss' desk? Can you return the favour?
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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