batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
You are a booty call, not a friend.
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
I caught a glimpse of his penis. I can only imagine what your mom's vagina goes through because of that penis
Bouncer came into the bathrooms to tell us the old one-person-per-stall rule, realised it was two girls banging, and left us to it. Lesbiperks.
Thank you for trusting your ovaries to me
Just shared a bacon biscuit with my cat.... Life is weird for me right now
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
...I just added shower water to my vodka on ice\n#sendhelp
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
Sharted again. Stuck in traffic. Fuck
Randomize
