Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
I wish i was in the wii world.
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
I don't know how I'm gonna do that tomorrow. I feel like I was hit by the motorhome. LOL I WAS.
We didn't have a blender for the margaritas, so she tried to use the garbage disposal and wasted half a handle of my grandpa's good tequila.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
Not my fault the fence refused to just break when I ran into it.
Randomize
