Homeslice needs to figure out he's so 2006
At least make sure they are 18
Why
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Honestly I'm so excited to go to bed I feel as if I don't deserve to be in my early twenties.
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
Randomize
