I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
Just saw a man being put through a dui test on the side of the road... it was noon and he was on a bicycle. God bless texas.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
I can always make him wear a mask... I'll tell him it's a fetish.
I'm playing a little game called "how many shots of jack can I take before I become a shit show tonight". All front row seats are sold out.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
MASS TEXT! MASS TEXT! Your sad horny friend has finally gotten it in and can go back to being normal once again. You're welcome.
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
I'm trying to find a fanny pack so I can bring pizza on my run
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
Randomize
