even in my darkest moments, having another person eat my jizz would make me smile
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
I had to brake up with him.
In my experience drinking helps.
You dont want to know why?
Not really. I want to drink.
Just realized I lost my social security card...maybe someone else will do something with my life
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I'm just waiting til he drunkenly pisses in his new man's car the way he always whipped it out and went Bellagio in mine.
I thought my life was going to shit but then I read about Amanda Bynes and I realize it's not so bad
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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