the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
I don't think brook has ever known best
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
Woke up this morning buried in a mountain of chex mix and bubble wrap. We must have been doing something great last night
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
Preparing for the bar exam has made my whatever disorder you said I have act up again
So the guy I hooked up with during welcome week just tried to booty call me from across the lecture hall at 9am. I don't think he gets how this works...
I can't help that I bring out the sex in people
I solemnly swear I will not get your boyfriend puke in public drunk again
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
