is your mom at the bar?
he just told me his nickname was "nickexplodeon"
does that mean he doesn't last long?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
The dean held back my hair as I was puking after graduation. That means so much more than a diploma and a handshake.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
I've hooked up with three guys in my accounting class. I'm beginning to think my teacher failed me so I can start getting laid again.
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
You called me at 2am singing 'happy birthday' while screaming 'I fucking love you' verses, all while eating a burrito and taking a piss off your apartment balcony
Yeah I know, the people below me already told me
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
The economy cant be that bad, I willingly got fired to bang her again.
Randomize
