I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
oh there is nothing like the 1st beerbong of the school year
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
im not an educated person. i just do things. and it works out in my favor
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
i found two dead squirrels on my front step this morning.. do you think they have something to do with my missing phone?
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
He wanted me to come over on Christmas...inviting your fuck buddy over for the holidays is just something you don't do.
I just set an alarm for 5 am tomorrow morning titled "Wake and Bake Its Christmas motherfucker"
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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