Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
after last night, i judge her for not breaking up with me
I just remember making out with this kid's friend, washing blood off my hands and hearing the RA's were looking for me.
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Wow! It's so great to hear from you! We all thought you perished in Winepocalypse 2012, man.
My butthole probably tastes like a Cinnabon right now
You both snapchatted me that. Like, I just got a double dose of penis pastry.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
Masturbating to death wouldn't be a terrible way to go. If you die tonight, I'll know how it went down. Promise not to tell your family.
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
Randomize
