Is it bad that my booty call's snoring was more interesting than the sex we had last night?
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
Help i just walked in on mom blowing dad
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
Randomize
