Lol speaking of weird...he just sent me a naked pic of himself that said "meow" at the bottom.
There's a girl in front of me with a see through white shirt on and her back says I suck bad dick. Fun night hun?
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
I JUST SHOOK HIS GRANDMOTHER'S HAND. WITH COCK HANDS. THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
How do I tactfully ask if the neighbors downstairs can hear me beating it?
110% paid for our cab with a lap dance
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
Today I saw someone riding a horse on the sidewalk by aldi when I went to walmart. Old town road was playing on the radio. It was perfect.
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