Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Just once id like a girl to say to me in the dracula voice, i want...to suck...your dick...
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I just blew my nose and little bits of weed came out.
I heard you shushing me, but my screaming orgasm drowned it out.
Immediately after sex he layed on the floor and acted like my yellow bra was pac man
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
I felt like a slutty ass cruella devil driving your old car, And I got in a fight with your wipers
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Randomize
