oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
dude do u know what u did last night?
do i wanna know???
you totally walked in on some couple fuckin in their unlocked dorm room asking for directions to ur room...
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I just had a formal request to dress as a boyscout for my meeting with Legal on Friday. From Legal. Time to go home.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
He kicked in the door just as I climbed on top of him...and stood there. I felt like I was in a porn. It was invigorating.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
So there is a 50% chance that he just left my house and a 100% chance that I have to be up for work in 2 hours...
Randomize
