I can tuck mytits in my pants
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
is it true that cum stays in you for 7 years?
that's gum
I swear, if I find out you're lying, I'm going to put your name on one of those herpes watch websites and put the link up on every social networking site in existence.
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Beer and tomahawks! Not gonna end well!
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
What did you give up for lent?
Diet and excersize. And I'm never going back...
I went next door to get a can opener from them. They opened the door shirtless, asked me if I wanted to a smoke a joint with them. Then decided to make blueberry smoothies. But the yogurt in the blender & the berries, got confused when the berries blended into the yogurt and just kept adding more. Only stopped when we ran out of berries.
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