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• (209): View more from California

  dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity

  (1-209): View more from California

  nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all

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• (805): View more from California

  I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.

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• (936): View more from Texas

  what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?

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• (627): View more from California

  his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.

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• (715): View more from Wisconsin

  just had a dream there were parent teacher conferences in college...scariest dream ever.

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• (707): View more from California

  They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.

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• (503): View more from Oregon

  What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?

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• (832): View more from Houston, Texas

  i'll booty call him tonight after the radiohead concert, that way he can see his favorite band and his favorite vagina all in one night.

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• (714): View more from California

  GOVERNMENT SHUTDOWN NO RULES ICE CREAM FOR BREAKFAST woooo!

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• (646): View more from New York

  I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.

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• (951): View more from California

  I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?

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• (608): View more from Wisconsin

  As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.

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• (386): View more from Florida

  you asked me how to turn on the ladder

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• (301): View more from Maryland

  This whole brainwashing thing is easy!

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