now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
I cut my penus on the lid.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
I haven't been "cry when you eat ben and jerrys" high in a while.
It took 5 minutes to find my bra.. in his car.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
100 proof captain the only man who can make me strip during a snowstorm
the straight edge chick smoked with me, because according to her my bowl is pretty
I'm in the woods tripping balls the water is rising why don't you answer me
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
