I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Almost peed between 2 cars...till I realized that it's daytime and I'm sober.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
did you find a tooth?
did you lose one?
Nothing like an old fashioned, wine fueled, anxiety-cry in the shower to start off finals week.
It's 6 a.m. ... what the hell.
What a dumb baby whore.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I didn't think four grown drunk men could cuddle on a twin size bed, but we found a way.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
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