I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
i saw the 3rd guy i ever had sex with last night and kept calling him #3
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
my life is one jail cell away from being a bad country music song.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
We just for robbed for the second time. I believe the only thing I have left to my name is my $75 dildo
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I was trying to chase her off the carpet, but now there are figure-eights of cat vomit. everywhere
Remember, ur body isn't a visitors center
Hey, I took a sweater from your house. And, um, your little brother's virginity.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Oh BTW the next time I see you I don't care where we are your dick will be going into some part of my body.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Randomize
