He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
Listen, I'm 30. If it doesnt involve a super soaker and some chicken wings, you can count me out.
they found her hiding behind the couch trying to feed a cabbage patch doll a bottle of tequila. please tell me she's on birth control.
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Top hats and gin. This is why I love day drinking.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
My new roommate is one of my Tinder matches... It is so on.
So pro tip. do not order drugs from india and then assume you know your tolerance level.
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
Randomize
