I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
It's been two weeks and I still have carpet burns on my knees. Well done.
If a man doesnt have the ability to fuck you well on a small climbing wall, I don't think he deserves you.
I just saw an appointment in my phone called "it's been a month" I think I drunkly did that after I slept with Paul to remind myself to check if I got knocked up... I'm smarter drunk than sober.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Spent 20mins wondering why my roommate wouldn't answer after we were pounding on the door.....Def went to the wrong building.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Randomize
