Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I'm at a Mexican Walmart. Wish you were here.
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
beer for lunch on the first day back to school.... too soon?
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Why can't burritos get me drunk
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
Randomize
