I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
Listen. The next time my first idea in the morning is "hometown buffet and a water bottle full of captain morgan", please make me go back to sleep.
She pregamed while taking a shower. Came out clean and drunk.
When God closes one door, he opens up a taller, smarter, more successful door, with a bigger cock and nicer teeth.
Randomize
