i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
Randomize
