Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
side note. good thing you didn't come to drunk breakfast. we were judged by children.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
After it was shut down sean literally made out with four separate girls between the 100 feet to our house. It was a rampage.
I'm not wearing a bra, watching Netflix and eating gushers. I don't know a better way to spend a hangover.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
Just so you know in the morning, yes you did send your bartender a snap of your boobs. No I didn't try to stop you because you used sound logic for doing so.
I gave up great shower sex to be here so don't say I never did anything for our friendship.
As you were leaving you yelled at the owners that the stairs weren't suitable for "intoxacapated" people and promptly fell down them.
So I WAS right.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
Your ex spoke highly of your penis and it’s skill. I’m interested in learning more about it ;-)
Randomize
