what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
Superbowl + Mdma, hope we're on the same page.
It's 3 am and my parents just came up the driveway in a limo. They didn't leave in a limo. I'm scared to even ask.
She said my main job as maid of honor is to ensure the groom doesn't find out that each of his seven groomsmen has had his penis inside her.
Jeff just maced a waitress...it's way too early for this.
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Of course I will... FYI I just gave my balls a crew cut.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
i cant hook up i'm covered in egg rolls
Randomize
