You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
You're not pinnochio. Lying isn't going to make it bigger.
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
I have taken lazynest to a new level. I took a picture of the notes on the board instead of writing them. I win.
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
I just pictured ballsacks being shoveled into the furnace of the Titanic.
You raged at the rock climbing place for not selling beer and then just said "fuck it" and pulled out a flask.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
I just put on my bra while peeing. I fear this will be my big achievement of the day.
So you realized he wasn't actually cheating on you and now you're trying to unfuck things. Or in this case unfuck Tom.
Randomize
