it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
He cooked the food on a paper plate in the oven.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Just found out you can rent the rollerena for 100 bucks and you can bring your own beer... when are you free this week?
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
God, i just love slightly insecure guys with hearts of gold and giant penises.
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
I WAS a history major. I also WAS a functioning human being. Fuck gin.
The beer shits the day after completing the World Beer Tour at Epcot are just as epic as the tour itself.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Got drunk tryed walking 12miles to zacks house woke up at noon on baseball park
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
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