He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
My freaking DENTIST just commented on my hickies. Through the novacaine I managed to mumble 'It was my birthday' and she smiled knowingly.
You need to tell your booty call to take some sudafed or something. I swear I thought you were humping Kermit the frog last night
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Why do I only have half my beard? My chin is so naked...
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
The length of my leg hair is a constant reminder of how long it's been since I even thought I had a chance of getting laid.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
Are ropes allowed in during conjugals?
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
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