i'm forgoing the post-coitus cuddling sesh to ask u this :when he says he loves me and all i can think to say is either "cool" or "i love boning you," what do i do?
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
Dude. I'm busy doing PR for America. FOR AMERICA. Europeans think we can't handle liquor.
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
she's throwing knives it scares me
update: broke ceiling. glass everywhere
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
Randomize
