Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
I barely remember the girls that I got pregnant, you think I'm gunna remember the ones that played handball
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
You can fuck me but I'm keeping my parka on.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
You were carrying a 6 ft lamp that we stole on your back yelling "OHANA MEANS FAMILY AND FAMILY MEANS NOBODY GETS LEFT BEHIND"
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
You showed up at 4 am holding a beer and wearing a wig you apparently found in the dumpster.
That explains some things...
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