in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm instituting a new rule. If you wake me up at 3am about wrinkled blankets, I get to throat punch you
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
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