the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
Its Nebraska, I'm sure im not the first person to wake up hungover in a corn field.
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
Finally another gay clarinet player. They're surprisingly rare.
Hey you remember last Super Bowl when I sent you a pic of my testicles? Memories...
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
My vag hurts but I feel vindicated
That is an interesting emotion combo
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
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