just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
that's an acceptable place to lick
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Def walking back to my apt with a blender, an empty vodka bottle, and a half eAtn drumstick cone.
Just reduced mom to tears when she realized I wasn't kidding about hating kids. She's crying about never being a gma. Now would be the time to tell her about the girl you knocked up. You're welcome.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I'm seeing how long I can hold this wine in my mouth. I have so many adventures! I'm like Teddy Ruxpin!
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
YOU CAN'T JUST ADD EVERYONE WHO ENTERS MY VAGINA ON FACEBOOK WTF
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
i’m blowing bubbles in my bloody mary so yeah it’s pretty much time to go
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
