I wish I could save this moment forever and have sex with it regularly. Its just tht beautiful.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
Also this freshmen guy is talking about his gag reflex and no one is making blowjob jokes. I have no faith in the next generation.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
Dude just the look on his face when she sat down next to him, threw one leg over his, and just said "so..." was fucking amazing
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I blew him while the canoe was sinking...I think of it as the better version of the titanic
So the other day we finished having sex and he literally said "what are we going to do about your vagina?" Like, I hadn't even dismounted him yet.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
