no morals, dignity, or self respect ... just an empty condom wrapper and a facebook request
Just walked pass a bum on the way to a coinstar... awkward
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Instead of medicine they should just give ecstasy. Also I'm tingly and can't find u guys. A gay man just said he loved me... :( / :)
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
My mom just looked at me while watching the fireworks and asked if it reminded me of how I felt after sex. I'm so uncomfortable.
So she just had an emotional breakdown over a birthday card with a peacock on it. Yeah. She's pretty drunk, but we made it home safely.
Last night was a "wash hands with dog shampoo" kind of night
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
THERE HAS BEEN GRANDTHEFT IN THE HOUSE. SOMEONE STOLE THE BABYWIPES AND YOU NEED TO BUY MORE BEFORE WE LET YOU IN. oh and you have to take two shots before we'll let you in. with no chaser.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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