It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
He kept screaming "it's so seductive" while he was humping the wall
I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
She trust falled out of a window. It was like that scene from A Little Princess but with a lot more blood.
They're re-releasing Titanic in 3-D. Can I interest you in a joint venture to create the greatest drinking game of all time? I think yes
First booty call in Europe.. In Barcelona. With a German. In broad daylight.... Is that how they do it here?
Looks like a took a video of myself beating off and passed out last night. I'm classy.
It was only in the sobering silence of the wilderness on the mountain, after I was too tired to talk anymore and I also didn't want to tell Julian that we were lost, that I realized how super tripped out I had been the entire time...
Remember that guy I fucked last month? Well I'm watching his dog this weekend while he's in the Bahamas with his girlfriend. What is my life
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
Randomize
