I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Then I realized I was alone sitting on the bathroom floor brushing my teeth at 2am laughing to myself.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I knew it would get worse when I said I think your roommate is watching and he looked over at him and said ... So?
We're listening to space jam. This can only be a good omen.
He taped a champagne bottle to both his hands and called himself edward champagne hands. At one point he poured some on his lap and said " Just needed to make sure my dick got some too"
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Randomize
