youve choked your chicken with your arm asleep and acted like it was some1 else right?
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
How are ur friends?
One is peeing in the grass and the other is asleep under the stairs. Fuck them I'm sleeping in the car
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
How will you ever teach your dogs to pee outside when the biggest puddle on your bedroom carpet is from you?
This bitch goes out driving during the nor'easter to get her ass eaten.. that’s dedication
The last time I saw you you got angry and yelled "WHISKEY DOESNT COUNT" ... I think that's at least a 7 on the hotmess scale.
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
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