i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
Was the mom I hooked up with decently attractive I feel like her two friends were hotter
I put bits of fruit cocktail in the jello shots i made because i knew that they were gonna be the only thing we ate all day
My glasses are somewhere in your living room. Also, my underwear might be in your bathroom or on or around your porch. Sorry.
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
She asked me to dress as captain planet for halloween and told me she was gonna suck the pollution out of my dick.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
