Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
dude i doubt hes gay
I CAUGHT HIM BEATING OFF TO MENS HEALTH!
i wish every aspect of life was like a bar. flirt with the cute guy two feet across from you and get whatever you want for free
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Why have her stay eight hours when I only last eight minutes?
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
i just stole a 8 pack of olde english 40s and 2 roles of duct tape. we are going to make edward proud tonight.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
I just won 200$ from Bar Karaoke, for singing the "Sailor Moon" theme song, and then the Pokemon theme song, also known as the motherfucking ANTHEM OF POKEMON MASTERS LIKE ME. I HAD TO REPRESENT.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
Randomize
