drinking steel reserve before noon and watching the price is right... 211... bet i pass out before then.
Come put a leash on your gf. She just challenged 8 cops to a wrestling match for 'tag team champion of the world'
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
Sorry if I put you in that 'glad we're hanging out but I'm gonna go fuck your cousin' kind of position
My time here is complete. I think I have now thrown up in every major degree programs building
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
I love you man I just want to hold you and fuck you until you only know my name
I don't know who you are but HOW THE FUCK DID YOU GET MY NUMBER
I literally blew him under my face mask. Not because I thought it'd protect me from COVID, but because I wanted to prove to myself that I could.
Randomize
