You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Just kicked a guy in his penis in order to win a dance contest on Bourbon....desperate.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Despite fighting the urge to vomit throughout the whole thing, I think that interview went really well!
Be still, my beating vagina.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
you know that moment when all the alcohol kicks in and suddenly you realize the bar is very loud and you just want to bite someone sexy and ride their face i am kinda at that moment
Lemme put it this way babe, at point you were naked in Target.
Where were you?
Laughing
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Every dick I’ve had or wanted in the last year is married. It’s like I became a professional home wrecker after I graduated.
Randomize
