Well for starters i'm drinking vodka out of a bell pepper.
Im mastering the way to pass gas silently.
Someone just asked me to go to the dining hall for dinner and he will use one of his swipes to pay for my meal. i think this is a college version of a date
Outside the community dumpsters: beer bottles and a carton of orange juice. Looks like we were here.
I just made doing the dishes into a drinking game. crafty, or pathetic?
I'm currently witnessing my drunk neighbor attempting to fold laundry on his front lawn. I think he's trying to spell out HELP.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I definitely don't remember licking the drag queens boob.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
Well I didn't know she was a dominatrix...so I kind of just went with it
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