summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
i think guys can sense when i'm not wearing underwear
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
she likes to give head while listening to britney spears, getting blown by a girl with headphones on is a nice level of separation
your idea of a balenced meal is a microwave frozen burrito, a cup of ramen noodles, and a can of budlight. honestly tell me how your resolution is to lose weight,
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
It's a special kind of bond when your gay brother takes pics of you topless at a frat party.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
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