Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
This escort grabbed my boyfriends ass and it became clear, he fucked pretty much anything he could find prior to dating me.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Hey... Tell me if you remember differently, but nobody truly saw me naked, right?
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
Randomize
