drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
Would you have sex with a guy wearing a Batman mask?
It's all hypothetical, I don't have a Batman mask... yet...
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Are we in any of the areas with tornados?
Dude, i don't even have pants on yet, it's too early to think about tornadoes.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Standing straight up with intensity he came in his own mouth. I know this because he showed me the video from five different angles when asked if I would like him to demonstrate. And I did.
Randomize
