Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
do you ever lay in the bath and watch the blood hit the water?
EWW. Don't discuss your period with me. You can go shave your back now.
He looks like the kind of guy that still collects pokemon cards
Threesome last night. Not that cool, you tend to pick a favorite.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
i really appreciated the lovely drunk rendition of whitney houstan's "i wanna dance with somebody" you left on my voicemail.
As an added bonus, you will have a "25 blowjobs a month" voucher, expiring thirty days after the first initial bj.
If I die young bury me in satin. And make sure there's a taco bar at my funeral.
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You kept trying to get the girl i brought home to hook up with you by enticing her with 12 baconnators you brought home
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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