just broke no shave november. hello backed up drain december.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
If fate has that penis in my future.....I'm down.
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
Wat the fuck dude ketchup in my bong???
he asked me for a gerbil feeder full of alcohol
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I'm rearranging all my life goals to become a billionaire by 28 and batman by 30. Not kidding.
I can't tell if I'm getting better at doing my online spanish hw drunk or if my teacher is just grading on creativity. Either way that senoritas gettin an applebees gift card when i graduate.
My vagina: 1 Male stubborness: 0
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Yea...Let's just say I gave her the best 3 and half minutes of her life then she took a 40 minute cab ride home that she paid for...
DID YOU OR DID YOU NOT, PEE IN MY FUCKING TRASHCAN?!
Will you come get your son? He's using an old bike pump to help him fart the national anthem...
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