what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
i just heard someone have an orgasm and then throw up through the vent in my room.
he said I was the best sex he's ever had, handed me a burger king crown and told me to take my walk of shame with pride
He introduced himself to me as "the gayest gay who ever gayed." I like him already.
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
Oh, and let me go get some popcorn, watching you make your own decisions should be quite the shitshow.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I a very close black and white picture of my slightly erect penis and I blew it up put it in an art gallery for a show coming up and somebody bought it for 30 Grand!!!
Randomize