I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
saw a man at the beach in a red speedo. when he rolled over he unintentionally displayed a HUGE skid mark.
She was wasted. Kept yelling "what if I'm pregnant" and trying to push me into the tree. First and last time I bring a girl to my family christmas party.
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
My booty call just moved 2 min from my house
This has pregnancy written all over it
He made me brush his hair afterwards because it made him feel like a ken Barbie.
God I hope the sex was good.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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