I cant video chat with you tonight, my parents are home
r u implying that im some kind of v-chat prostitution whore?
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Got home. Hugged Mom. The look on her face indicated she noticed nipple rings.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
Somehow she talked me into getting my dick pierced, weird first date.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Just got thrown out of the club for making condom water balloons. I'm not ashamed.
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
