I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Well at least you learned that cops don't like when you call them frenchy. Nice dive over the fence by the way.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I dont' remember leaving St. Cloud, getting home, or apparently directing traffic in the middle of the fucking street while black out drunk.
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
He walked in on me banging his sister and said "you're both old enough to make you own decisions. Carry on"
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
Being an adult can't be all bad. I just took a vacation day solely to sit around and get stoned
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
Randomize
