I just woke up in bed with 4 girls. Either i dont remember the best night of my life or they think im gay.
Have you ever seen an entire lecture hall fist pump? It's magical.
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
I woke up to ritz crackers on the lawn, a keystone behind the hedge and puke on the rental car... i think that we have become that house...
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
see these eyes, they just want to bone and go to sleep.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
I also witnessed that same parrot perched on the head of a man grinding with a girl.
Interesting. As a girl I don't know how okay I would be with that.
She seemed pretty into it.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Was so high at one point last night that while showering I was worried that using too much hot water would slow down our Internet.
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
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