A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
just saw my sister at the strip club... dont think she's "taking a night class over the summer"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
Is it really road head if took place on kayaks in the river?
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
I can feel my teeth in 4 dimensions. I shouldnt be this high at 8 in the morning.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
Randomize
