you think thats bad? Today I had to pop a zit on my sack.
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
just woke up in a hotel room.. realizing its the hotel i work at.. lets see how this walk of shame turns out
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i have rugburns grass stains and some road rash. im an all terrain slut
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
My boobs looked so good under the black light I saw a girl physically cover her boyfriend's eyes.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
My butt remains clenched, sir.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
Randomize
