im drinking this country out of the recession.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Also 70% sure I have a splinter on my eyelid from last night
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
It's like everything I need in life within a five block radius: booze, toilets, dogs, dicks.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Actually, lets be honest. I will probably keep calling him the pastor because it brings me joy using pastor and fuck buddy in the same sentence.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
There's a point in life when you've got to take dick like a big girl.
he was just sitting there in his underwear... and his chewbacca mask...
On this version of “Dean Can’t Be a Normal Fucking Human,” I told a guy I’d shove a tv up his ass. Recreationally.
Plasma, LED or OLED?
Randomize
