1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
we black-lighted her bedspread and it looked like a jackson pollock painting.
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
you busted in the room, ripped the covers off of us, ... and fist pumped
She referred to her collection of sex toys as an "arsenal." I'm not sure whether to be scared or excited....
This dudes playing guitar and singing outside our window and he's like "ravioli is beterrrrrrr than tortelliniIii cause tortelliniiii is shaped like fucking ears"
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
You're going to find someone that you love very much and that loves you, and then you're gonna find an additional person that you literally can't stop staring at from across the room. I feel very confidently about that
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
Just remembered someone sprayed perfume in my mouth last night after convincing me it was vodka and that i tried to herd ducks around campus and bring one home.
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