suntimes in life you find a rare opportunity, mine was bonin my gf in front of the tv
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
you never realize your highschool teachers are real people till you fuck one of them
He used one end of the towel to wipe the cum and I used the other end to wipe the tears
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Please tell me that text was part of your elaborate Brett Favre costume; otherwise, dude, wtf?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
There is nacho cheese and blood everywhere.
i'm sitting in class and looking at who would die if all the fans suddenly fell from the ceiling. i guess i have next year to pass history..
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well, he didn't buy me a birthday present but he sure did give me chlamydia so there's that.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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