found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I have one thing to say: spongebath.
I wish that wasn't all you had to say. And by that, I mean I wish you hadn't said that at all.
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I actively tried geting in the guy's pants and ended up in the girl's. I'm bad at this whole straight while drunk thing.
Looking back on this weekend, I'm most grateful I never brought up with word "toe-fucking" at the bachelorette party.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
Were you the one who yelled "FOR GLORYHOLE!" then punched a hole through my door?
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