let me put this in terms we both understand. he was the crunchwrap supreme of men--the perfect combo of all things manly, gooey and delicious. and ready for instant enjoyment.
still drunk. talking shit to the doc drawing my blood. this has no upside
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
When we found you, you were using the bottle of Captain as a pillow...with a note on your forehead that said don't wake up the champion.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Passing out is just my bodies way of protecting my liver.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Let's drink tonight I promise I'll make it out of the house
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
