6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
The hardest part of getting a new computer is deliberating whether to start the cycle of porn and viruses all over again.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
He burnt a smiley face into the screen with a cigarette, peed in my tub and then tried to take off his pants. tried...
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
I only feel half bad for cheating on him because while we were fucking I was given great relationship advice and now I'm ready to work some things out.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
She ordered an O'douls. That was the end of that date
He came all over her clothes we have to leave
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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